


Birds of a Feather

by Craftybadger1234



Series: Birds of a feather [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 03:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16987425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: Happy to be a alive after the war, there's a lot of bed-hopping going on with the Eighth Years. Harry wants no part of it so he invents a fake relationship with Draco to keep his friends from pairing him up.A fake relationship is perfect for Harry, until (of course) the lines get blurred.The epilogue is 3 times they didn't have sex and 1 time they still didn't have sex because this is an ace love story and there's no sex. Rating is for mild language (depending on your definition of mild, because I use the f-word a lot).





	Birds of a Feather

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to CleopatraIsMyName for looking this over for me! I tinkered a super-tiny bit just before posting but I think it's still fine. :)
> 
> I like to go for historical accuracy whenever I can, so a gentle reminder that the term 'asexual' wasn't in common use in the late 90's. Harry and Draco would have used terms like 'late bloomer' or 'low sex drive.' And it definitely wouldn't have been seen as normal or no big deal. 
> 
> On the other hand, I've used the term 'bunny kisses' in place of the term 'Eskimo kisses' because I read online that the latter is a racial slur and fuck historical accuracy in that case.

\--------  
There was a tentative beginning on the train...  
\--------

The compartment was packed to the brim with students. Sitting on the floor, and crammed into the seats, even sharing laps. Harry loved the noise and excitement of seeing his friends after so long spent sleeping and sleeping and sleeping at the Burrow all summer long. But after a time it got to be too much. Too many people in the compartment. Too hot. Too loud. And he knew he needed to find somewhere more quiet, even if just for a few minutes.

He traveled down the train noticing the same in other compartments. Students crowded the compartments beyond regular capacity, all so thrilled to be going to a Hogwarts that was safe and whole again. Anything to be together, to celebrate being alive again. So it came as no surprise when he reached the far end of the train and found a completely empty compartment. Curious now, he hurried through the next and found it empty as well. What about the last one? Had no one really made it this far?

He came to a halt when he realized Draco Malfoy was in the last compartment all alone. What was he doing here? They stood in shock, staring at each other.

“Oh fuck,” Harry hissed as he noticed the car behind him opening. Was someone looking for him? Of course they were. Someone always wanted to know where he was, now that he was awake and interacting with the real world again.

“Don't move,” Malfoy whispered. Harry felt the sick cracked egg feeling on his head, trickling down his body, as a disillusionment charm took hold. “Don't move,” Malfoy repeated.

Harry stayed as still as he could while Luna’s gaze swept the compartment, Ginny standing right behind her. He held his breath, knowing the charm worked best with little movement. Shrugging, the girls turned to leave. Harry sagged in relief, barely feeling it when the charm was removed.

“They're gone,” he said quietly. “Thanks. For that.” Harry cleared his throat awkwardly, unsure if he needed to explain. Malfoy didn’t respond, so Harry babbled on, “I think they're just worried because I've been gone so long. Wandering the train. I didn't think anyone would come look for me through two empty cars.”

“Funny,” Malfoy said, arching his brow, “I sort of thought the same.” He gave Harry a shrug and sat down in the corner, which Harry noticed made him hardest to see from the door. Malfoy bundled himself up in his cloak and leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. “You're welcome to stay here if you like.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks.” Harry threw himself in the opposite seat, mirroring Malfoy’s posture. He leaned back against the wall with his legs stretched across the seats. He squirmed, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard seat. With a soft sigh, Malfoy pointed his wand at Harry to deliver a cushioning charm beneath him. “Thanks. Erm, again.” 

It struck Harry that this should be awkward. Or dangerous? Or something. But it wasn’t. They were just… there. Like two strangers, instead of former rivals. How did it come to this? The war, of course. It was always the war. It had swept through Harry like a fiery wind, burning away his ability to hate. He was tired of all that and just wanted to be happy for a while. And now he had the chance to do something nice for Malfoy in return for the helpful charms. Harry dug a bag of apple rings from his backpack.

“Want one?”

Malfoy stared at the bag for a beat too long. Harry’s face began to flush in embarrassment but before he could pull them back, Malfoy reached in for a few rings. “Thank you.”

Harry nodded and pulled a ring out for himself. “I have other snacks, if you’d like something else.” His backpack was filled with all sorts of things he could use in case of emergency.

“Thanks.” Draco popped his last ring in his mouth and settled back against his corner, eyes closed again.

Harry couldn’t help but notice that Draco had filled out in the months since the final battle. He still had his pointy chin and sharp cheekbones but he had a healthy glow that definitely wasn’t there back in May. Harry stared, feeling safe to do so with Draco’s eyes closed. If Draco were a complete stranger, say in a coffee shop, would Harry offer a second glance? A date? Anything in the hopes of getting laid? But there was nothing. He didn’t feel much of anything as he took in Draco’s lanky frame, except to absently note he was taller than Harry. Maybe he needed a picture so he could study it better.

“You could take a picture,” Draco said suddenly, startling Harry. “It would last longer.”

Harry laughed, despite the heavy flush of embarrassment. “Sorry, I just - erm, sorry for staring.”

Eyes still closed, Draco quirked an eyebrow at him. Harry laughed again and shook his head, “I’m glad you’re here.”

That caused Draco to open his eyes in surprise. He blinked a few times then said quietly, “Me too.”

Settling back, Harry closed his own eyes. He wasn’t tired anymore. After a summer spent hardly getting out of bed, the prospect of returning to Hogwarts made him feel alive again. Even with the ghosts both real and figurative waiting there.

But for now, the silence was just right.

\--------  
...and in their lessons...  
\--------

Only twenty-two of the students in Harry’s year came back to complete their education. Just enough they could have all their core classes together. They paired up for practicals, mostly sticking to House lines at first. Although it didn’t take long for Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors to merge into one, loud group.

The Slytherins still stuck mostly to themselves. The five of them whispered furiously, arguing who would be the odd man out. No surprise, it was nearly always Draco. Tracy wanted to be paired with Theo, but stuck by Millicent each time, knowing Millie would have a harder time getting one of the ‘outsiders’ to accept her. Theo, Blaise, and Draco settled the other pair in a way Harry couldn’t see but it always left Draco scowling. And alone.

Harry shrugged sheepishly and stood next to Draco, listening for their last instructions from Professor Flitwick. Some spells he knew from their time on the run, when Hermione wouldn’t let the circumstances cause their education to suffer. But others were new and useless in the way school always felt.

Charms was Harry’s favorite class. When Flitwick decided to start a unit on construction and basic home repair, Harry sat at full attention, eager to learn something that would help him get Grimmauld Place back in shape.

Draco had his head propped up on one hand, eyes half shut. Harry thought about shaking him awake but neither of them had gotten much sleep last night with the racket coming from Terry’s bed. For some reason, they couldn’t get standard silencing charms to stick and whoever was in Terry’s bed didn’t care they had an audience. Harry’s eyes flicked to Ernie but he slept like the innocent and so was bright eyed in class today. Was he on something Draco and Harry should be on, to sleep so well with the moaning and “Yes, fuck, yes, Terry!” going on?

Draco grumbled as he got to his feet to begin the practical - trying to mesh small pieces of brick without mortar. Flitwick moved among the groups to offer advice, and give each of them spells they could work into the brick to strengthen the little walls with extra layers of magical protection.

“I’ll give you…” Draco dug into his pocket and slammed some coins on the table between them, “one galleon, four sickles, and three, six, seven, _eight_ knuts to get a spell from Flitwick that we can use to silence Terry’s curtains.”

Harry’s bark of laughter drew nearly every eye, including Flitwick. He bustled over as Draco swirled his wand over their bricks pieces.

“Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy. Everything all right over here?”

“Er, yes, sir,” Harry said with a goofy grin. “We were just talking about… erm… Professor, we were wondering if there was a spell we could use…” He trailed off as he noticed Draco’s eyes widening, and then his face reddening with suppressed laughter. Harry lowered his voice, “I’m looking for a spell to muffle sound through curtains. So I can, erm...” Harry trailed off again, frantically trying to think of anything except the truth. He winced inwardly when his brain finished with, “sing in the shower and not bother my dorm mates.”

“Oh, Mr Potter, you are a constant source of surprise!” Flitwick gave a little chuckle and patted Harry on the arm. “I’ve had many requests over the years for such a charm, but rarely with an excuse as creative as that one!” He gave Harry a look that made Draco choke back a laugh. “I have just the thing.” He flicked his wand to the corner and summoned a book from the shelf behind his desk. He flipped through it and handed the open book to Harry, “Perhaps this will help you with your ‘alternative use’ essay. And if you’re any good at singing, see me about joining the Hogwarts Choir.” With a little shake of his head, he went on to another group.

Harry and Draco elbowed each other, both trying not to giggle as they read through the instructions. Harry collected the coins, making a sound of protest when Draco’s hand darted out and grabbed two knuts.

“In case your spellwork is shoddy and I need to buy a little cotton wool to stuff in my ears,” Draco said with a wink.

Harry felt his cheeks redden as butterflies fluttered in his stomach. He laughed again as he pulled out his journal to jot down the new spell. “Actually,” he tossed two more knuts to Draco, “get me some as well. Terry’s too enthusiastic for such small quarters.”

Draco laughed and Harry warmed all over, uncaring that the others were eyeing them suspiciously. Draco’s eyes lit up when he saw the journal. “Oh! I love that!”

Harry smiled down at his book, tracing lightly over the phoenix on the cover to make it shimmy in the sparks at its feet. “Thanks! Hermione got it for me. It’s got some great charms in it - to move the pages around, to add or remove lines to write on - “

“I know,” Draco said, rummaging in his bag. He pulled out a journal with similar scrollwork around the edges and an iridescent raven on the cover. “I have one too.”

“Oh! Nice!” Harry reached for the book but Draco was already putting it away. “Why a raven?”

Draco shrugged and swirled his wand over the brick pieces once more, drawing Harry’s attention back to class. “It seemed right.”

While Draco concentrated on the spell, Harry took the opportunity to study him. Over and over Harry was drawn to the sharp lines of Draco’s face. He wanted to reach out and trace the line of his cheekbones, or the curve of his jaw, but knew it would be a wasted effort. Harry had nothing to offer, at least not the sort of things everyone else seemed to want. And it would be cruel to draw Draco in, only to reject him in that way later.

With a sigh that forced away the happy glow, he focused on the pieces of brick, not noticing he was now the focus of scrutiny by his partner.

\--------  
...and on the Quidditch pitch...  
\--------

“Oh good, here they come!” Harry said, waving at Draco leading the other Slytherin eighth years down to the Quidditch pitch.

Ron shook his head, kicking at the ground. “I can’t believe you invited them.” 

Hermione rolled her eyes and elbowed her boyfriend. “You were literally just saying that Blaise was an all right dorm mate. He just needed a little warming up to, right?”

“Yeah he’s been great,” Justin said, nodding absently as he watched them approach, “They’re not all bad, right?” He licked his lips and his cheeks flushed suspiciously. Harry tried to follow his line of sight. Ah, Tracy walking with Millicent. Poor Justin didn't have a chance, stuck as Tracy was on Theo. But maybe this little crush would bridge the last of the gap between them.

“I _meant_ that none of them played Quidditch before - _you know_ \- and whichever team gets them is likely to lose.” Ron smiled as the five Slytherins came within earshot. 

“Draco played,” Harry whispered sullenly. He knew Ron wasn’t really upset at the Slytherins. He was upset at Harry for not playing Quidditch with them. But Harry knew Draco wasn’t ready to fly yet and wanted to keep him company in the stands since Harry was the one to invite them to the pitch in the first place.

Ron elbowed Harry. “That was ages ago.” Louder he spoke to the Slytherins. “You lot come to watch or to play?”

“Play, mostly,” Blaise said with a short nod hello. “Draco and I are sitting this one out. But Millie, Tracy, and Theo are going to play.”

“You have any experience?” Ron asked, looking them over doubtfully.

Tracy eyed him just as suspiciously. “Only casually. Montague and Urquhart were pretty ruthless with the team, only allowing the biggest and dumbest to play.”

“Hey!” Draco protested. 

Tracy gave him a look and smiled, “Millie and I were on a casual girls’ team and Theo is just a good flyer.” Theo didn’t react to her words at all, just stared impassively.

“Right, well,” Justin interjected, clearing his throat, “they bring us up to twelve so quit arguing.” He gave Tracy and Millicent a cocky smile, “Why don’t you two come with me and I’ll help you find some brooms.” The girls looked at each other and shrugged then fell in line with Justin. Theo trailed behind, still silent.

Harry indicated the stairs to Draco and Blaise and the three of them joined the random spectators in the stands. They watched Ron and Anthony divide the group into two teams and begin a casual game. Draco and Harry were caught up in the action, but it was obvious Blaise was distracted by Hermione and Padma sitting two rows down in front of them.

The words were a jumbled mix of Arithmancy jargon Harry didn’t understand. But each phrase made Blaise tighten his jaw a little and once he even rolled his eyes. Thirty points into the game, he finally gave up pretending he wasn’t listening and moved seats so he was on Padma’s left. He pulled the book from her lap and jumped straight into a lecture. Hermione looked back at Harry in surprise but he just shrugged it off with a smile.

While the three of them became immersed in Arithmancy, Harry reached into his bag for a small box of truffles. He made a shushing gesture to Draco, which he returned with a wink. The two of them picked a chocolate to eat and shared secret smiles.

“Mmm,” Draco said softly, “caramel… my favorite.” He licked the dripping caramel off his fingers. “What’s the special occasion?”

“Oh I recently came into one galleon, four sickles, and four knuts. Thought I’d splurge.”

“Excellent choice.”

Harry was relieved someone had taken the time to charm the shirts of the two teams separate colors so he could better follow the game. He cheered when Ron blocked a goal, but also cheered when Susan blocked a goal on the other end of the field. He shared chocolates and smiles with Draco throughout the following hours, enjoying the warm, fluttery feeling that was becoming all too common.

The wind kept lifting a lock of Draco’s hair, and Harry wanted to run it between his fingers. He wanted to brush his lips against the red splotches on Draco’s cheeks, and maybe hold the hand that was wildly gesticulating during the story of his first Quidditch match as a child. Harry shifted in his seat, pressing himself closer to Draco to enjoy the warmth of his body. 

But then his thoughts turned, as they always did, to beyond that when Draco would surely want more. He would want deep kisses and Harry could probably manage that. But then he would want to put his hands in Harry’s pants, try to evoke a physical response, and be disappointed when it didn’t work. Or when Harry’s squeamishness pushed the questing hands away.

Harry’s smile faltered and he tried to cover the lapse by offering the box of truffles again. Draco’s return smile was small, hesitant, but he took the chocolate anyway. Biting it in half, he offered the other to Harry. Harry only paused for a second before taking the chocolate. Draco’s shoulders bumped his and they smiled again, the awkward moment dissolving into soft familiarity. 

\--------  
...and in the library.  
\-------

“Hey,” Harry said, shoving a stack of books out of the way to set his own bag down. “How’s the story coming?”

Draco flicked his wand at the books, sending half of them to the reshelving cart. The others stacked themselves neatly to give Harry room to spread his own books out. “Fine,” he sighed, “boring, but fine.”

“Hermione’s in a twist about hers. Creative writing isn’t her strong suit.” Harry glanced over to the other table nearby where Hermione, Padma, Blaise, and Kevin were going over more Arithmancy notes. Hermione turned and tapped Ernie sitting behind her with Justin, Tracy, and Millicent. They exchanged books with a smile.

Draco frowned at his parchment, “It just seemed more exciting when I imagined it all in my head. Putting words on paper doesn’t seem as vivid as I thought.”

“Which spell did you choose?”

“Avis. Usually the spell is used for little decorative birds.” Draco slid his parchment scroll over to Harry. “But in the story, a little boy conjures a few birds that carry him away.” Draco looks down at his book, fiddling with his quill.

“That sounds nice,” Harry said softly, easily imagining a pale, blond boy in a swirl of black ravens. 

“Perhaps. But a better image than a story.”

As a distraction, Harry pulled his phoenix journal from his bag. He shuffled the pages with a charm so that his story was all together at the end. He offered it to Draco. “Here, you can read mine while I look yours over.”

Draco took the book and scanned the page. “What did you write?”

“Well you’ll have to read to find out, won’t you?” Harry said with a smile. He dipped his quill and began making notes on Draco’s story. Busy underlining and inking shorthand comments, he didn’t pay attention to Draco until he heard the sharp gasp.

“Harry James Potter, you naughty boy!”

He looked up to find Draco grinning eagerly at his book, eyes scanning the page rapidly. Suddenly remembering the alternative ending that must have sorted with the original ending, Harry hissed, “Oh fuck!” He lunged across the table to grab his journal. “Give that back!” But Draco turned away so that Harry was left to scrabble at his robes.

“This is gold. Where did you learn to write like this?” Draco hunched over the book, turning another page.

“Give it back! You weren’t meant to read any of that!” In his haste, Harry tripped against the table, scattering the pile of books, and finally had to summon the journal with his wand. He shoved it into his bag and began rolling up the scrolls he’d just unpacked.

“It’s not my fault you botched your sorting charm!” Draco reached for Harry’s wrist but Harry jerked it away and continued packing the things he’d scattered. “Are… are those… erm… the kind of things you like to do?” he asked quietly.

Harry groaned and tugged at his hair. “Fuck!” he growled. “It’s the kind of thing I like to read, all right?”

“Oh.” After a pause Draco said, “It seems to be missing something.”

Harry’s cheeks burned with a sudden flush he wished was anger instead of embarrassment. He knew damn well what it was missing. _Experience_. Fucking Malfoy, of course he would point it out. He probably knew all kinds of things Harry didn’t know firsthand. Although he was much more discreet about it than Terry and Ernie. Still, rude to point it out - 

A thwump on the table cut off Harry’s thoughts. Draco stared at him blankly while Harry eyed the raven journal now sitting between them.

“Illustrations,” Draco said softly.

Green eyes met grey, searching for mockery or sarcasm. But Draco only offered a half smile and then pushed the journal closer to Harry. Moving slowly, in case this was some sort of trick, Harry picked up the book and rifled through the pages. His glance revealed sketches of all sorts of bodies in intimate settings. 

Two men mere centimetres from kissing. A man bending to kiss the neck of the woman in his arm. Two men entwined on a bed. Two women nuzzling noses wearing soft smiles. The back of a shirtless man sitting on a wall. A mouth open and waiting. The curve of ribs and hips… on and on it went.

“You - you drew these?” Harry asked, glancing at Draco. Of course he did, Harry thought with an internal eye roll, what a stupid question to ask. Harry kept turning pages, overwhelmed with beautiful images. Even the ones that were clearly not finished showed potential.

And stuck in amidst the intimate drawings was a series of a young boy with birds. The first showed him hiding in a corner while an older woman decorated a tree with tiny twittering birds. The next showed her and a man arguing, which escalated in the next picture to hexes coursing around the room. Then the boy escaping to the outside, staring at a bleak and dreary landscape. A swirl of a wand that was clearly too big for him conjured two enormous ravens that plucked him up and carried him away. The final picture showed the boy in a lush meadow, surrounded by ravens bringing him gifts of food and flowers.

“Draco, this is amazing!”

“Thanks.” A light blush tinged his cheeks, and Draco smiled shyly.

“No, like, really brilliant. I didn’t know you were so talented.” Harry sat back down, no longer concerned with fleeing. “These pictures, with the boy and the ravens. That was for your story?”

“It started that way.” He rubbed at the back of his neck and shrugged, “I can see it in my head so I drew those sketches as an outline but… words don’t come as easily. I mean, I can handle regular essays but creative writing is… harder.”

“Why don’t you turn in the drawings? Instead of the written story.”

Draco took the journal back from Harry and absently turned pages. “I don’t think that’s what Flitwick had in mind.” He tucked the book away in his robes.

“So what? The only marks that matter are our final NEWT scores. If he doesn’t like it, does it really affect your Charms NEWT?”

“You think so?” 

“Yeah, absolutely. Those were beautiful drawings.”

Draco shrugged again, then smiled at Harry. “And what about you?”

“What about me?” Harry leaned back in his chair, the tension returning in a hot rush. He braced himself for the inevitable teasing.

“Well, that’s a fairly creative alternative ending you wrote…” Draco’s smile had Harry relaxing just a fraction. 

“I’m not turning in a smutty story to Flitwick!”

Draco laughed, easing Harry’s tension just a little more. “I just thought if I was going to do something unconventional, it would be fun if you did the same.”

Harry shook his head, “Not a chance! I wrote a very funny story of a young man happily singing in the shower now that no one can hear him. And that’s going to be enough!”

“I just think the second ending is better. Slipping and falling on his naked arse on the bathroom floor and found by his bi-curious flatmate. You should definitely carry that plotline to the end.”

“Yes, well,” Harry said, blushing again, “inspiration struck and… yeah… but Flitwick doesn’t need to see that part.” He tapped the table nervously and avoided looking right at Draco as he asked, “You thought it was good?” Did Draco know about those kinds of things? Enough to judge if Harry was getting it right or not?

“We can definitely add ‘writing’ to your very short list of talents.”

“Short list, eh?”

“Defeater of Dark Lords, sort of all right on a broom, good writer.” Draco patted Harry’s hand with a mocking smirk, “But no need to worry. You have a lifetime to build skills as vast as mine.”

\--------  
Then there was a fake beginning in the common room...  
\--------

“I wouldn’t go in there if I were you,” Harry called out.

Draco paused on his way past the table Harry was working at. He scowled at the hall of eighth year boys’ dorms. “Again? Are you kidding me?”

“I only wish. It’s Terry and someone I didn’t wait around to identify.” Harry was already moving his parchments and textbooks to make room for Draco.

With a heavy sigh, Draco sat across from him and took out his Herbology text and a large scroll. “I guess I’ll finish this after all. I was hoping to have a lie down before dinner.”

They both jumped when the common room door burst open. Millicent and Justin, already pulling at each others’ clothes, moved across the common room to the hallway leading to the girls’ dorms. No magical staircase in here, Harry thought with a headshake. Being of age (and at the school completely voluntarily), the eighth years were deemed worthy of monitoring themselves. Harry wasn’t sure this was an improvement in their education.

“Do you ever wish it was you?”

Harry looked at Draco, startled. “Kissing Millicent? Or Justin?”

“No, just in general. Do you wish you had someone?”

“Not really,” Harry said with a nonchalant shrug, despite the frantic thumping of his heart. “It seems too complicated. At least for right now. I mean, I get it, that need to celebrate being alive and all. But just… it seems like too much for now. I just want to finish all this first,” he said with a wave at all their books. “There’s time enough later, right?”

Draco nodded thoughtfully and scratched out the last two sentences of his essay. He kicked Harry in warning, indicating the girls’ hallway. Harry smothered a grimace at Hermione and Ron joining them, both sporting flushed faces and dopey, glistening eyes. He forced a smile, pretending he didn’t know Millicent had kicked them out of the dorm before the afterglow faded. Justin and Millicent. Who would have thought?

“Harry,” Hermione said happily, “I was hoping to find you before dinner. Did you see Lisa today?”

“No, why?” He tensed in preparation for what he knew was coming. His friends couldn’t seem to bear being paired off if he was alone and at loose ends. And sure enough…

“She has a friend… Henry. A seventh year Ravenclaw. She said you two would get along - “

“Thanks,” Harry interrupted before she could continue. “I appreciate it. Really. But - but actually,” he swallowed heavily, “I’m seeing someone.”

Draco looked up in surprise. Harry’s eyes darted to him and he saw the grey eyes widen ever so slightly. Draco’s back stiffened and he shook his head slowly. Or perhaps it was just the world slowing down around him as Harry felt his mouth moving without his brain’s permission. 

“I’m dating Draco.” Thankfully this statement was not followed by hysterical, nervous giggling. What was he thinking? He waited for the _reducto_ from the boy sitting across the table.

“Damn it, Potter! We agreed we weren’t telling anyone yet!”

Harry almost melted into a puddle of relief. Draco’s lips twitched as he rolled his eyes, even going so far as to kick Harry’s shin. 

“You are?” Hermione looked back and forth between them, mirroring the confusion on Ron’s face. Ron opened his mouth. To protest? But then he tilted his head to consider them both. Shrugging it off, Ron sank back into this chair with his eyes closed. 

“Yes,” Draco agreed, “for a few weeks now. We just wanted to keep it a secret a little longer. Avoid the media circus, you know.”

Harry squeaked out a laugh and nodded, “Yes. Of course. But I had to say something, right? I mean, you don’t _want_ me dating this - er - “

“Henry,” Hermione supplied.

“ - Henry just to maintain the secret, right?”

“Well, maybe I can forgive you this one time.” Draco tucked his textbook into his bag. “I’m sure Hermione and Ron can keep this secret for us. Now, if you’ll excuse us, Harry and I have some things to discuss.”

“Right. Yes. Let’s get out of here.” Harry left his things on the table and let Draco drag him out of the common room, leaving his shell shocked friends behind. Draco released him when they were two floors away. Harry sagged against the wall, trying to breathe deep enough to dispel the dizziness caused by his foolhardy statement.

“All right there?” Draco asked.

“Yes. No.” Harry gripped at his hair and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. I panicked and you were there and it seemed so reasonable.” He rubbed his thighs and shook out his hands. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

Draco crossed his arms and laughed. “Of course you are! You just invented a relationship without asking me first!”

“They just won’t stop trying to pair me up with someone.” Harry leaned against the wall and sighed at the ceiling. “I told them I was gay… After. When I - when Ginny and I didn’t get back together. It seemed easiest. But now…”

“Are you? Gay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t - I think I’m - ” He cut off sharply with a shake of his head, unwilling to say out loud what he really thought. Or rather, worried over. Harry barked a hysterical giggle and sank to the floor. He rested his elbows on his bent knees and cradled his head. Softly he said, “I’m sorry.”

Draco sat next to him, close enough their shoulders bumped together. “It’s all right,” Draco said into the silence. “We can pretend for a while, if it helps.”

“Are you sure? Just a few weeks?” Harry looked pleadingly at Draco. “I know it’s weird, or a lot to ask. But I just need a few weeks to - to think of something. To make them leave off. And if you, you know, find someone else, that’s fine. Like, we can end it whenever, you know?”

“I’m not really interested in anyone right now anyway so… Let’s just play it by ear? It doesn’t have to be different from how it is now, right? We’re already spending a lot of time together.”

“Maybe,” Harry licked his lips nervously, eyes darting away from Draco, “we could hold hands or something?” There was that hot swoop in his belly again. His fingers twitched, already anticipating lacing up with Draco’s.

“I’m not snogging you all over this castle where everyone can see.” 

Harry couldn’t help the way his body jerked against Draco. Unsure how Draco would take the reaction, it needed saying. “Yeah, no… I don’t want that either. Just something that says ‘we’re together’ and not just ‘we hang out sometimes.’”

“All right. Some hand holding. Sitting closer than usual. That’s enough, right?”

“Yeah. That’s good.” Harry gave Draco’s hand a deliberate squeeze. “Just for a few weeks. Just so they’ll stop hassling me. It’s going to be fine.”

“Right. Fine. I see no way this can go wrong.”

\--------  
...and in the library…  
\--------

As it turned out, Hermione and Ron could _not_ keep a secret. Or perhaps someone overheard them in the common room. Whatever the cause, word had definitely spread about Harry dating Draco. As Harry made his way through the library, sharp eyes and whispering giggles followed him everywhere.

“Is it me, or is everyone staring?” he asked as he finally found Draco at their usual table. Despite all the extra people hanging about, Draco was still sitting alone.

“Of course they are,” Draco replied, clearing the space next to him for Harry. “They just found out the great Harry Potter is bent. They’re probably hoping for a little show. But unfortunately for them, you’re not dating an exhibitionist.” Draco smiled and kissed Harry lightly on the cheek, making his heart flutter happily. “Oh, and I got you something. Well, _us_ something.”

He handed Harry a journal, from the same series as the phoenix and raven. This journal had two fluffy little owls nuzzling on a tree branch. Harry flipped through the blank pages. “For us?”

“A collaboration,” Draco said with a wink. “Since we’re going to be spending so much time together, I thought we could work on a little project. You could write us some stories - “

“And you’ll illustrate them?” At Draco’s nod, Harry flipped through the pages again, his mind already racing with possibilities. “Anything in particular?”

“For starters you can just write something and I’ll draw something. Then maybe I’ll draw something and you can write a story around it.”

“Yeah,” Harry said with a smile, “that sounds brilliant. What do you like best?” He set the book on the table and busied himself with getting his homework out so he didn’t have to look directly at Draco. Asking about Draco’s preferences made him unaccountably nervous. It wasn’t like it really mattered as their relationship wasn’t real, but he knew he didn’t want to hear Draco say he preferred women to men.

“I guess I’ll read anything. Like two guys has appeal because I have the same parts and can feel what they feel. And two girls has appeal because I don’t have those parts so I have no way of knowing if it’s inaccurate and can just enjoy the story. And a boy and a girl appeal because, well, it’s a little of both. And occasionally instructive, right?”

“Right, yeah,” Harry said, relieved Draco had listed two men first. Somehow it made Harry feel that their own relationship, fake as it was, still worked for Draco on some level. He snorted softly, “Instructive.”

“No?”

“Maybe I haven’t read enough but I didn’t learn shit about girls by reading anything about hetero sex.” Harry suppressed a shudder. What he’d read had definitely _not_ translated to the real world well at all. It was a miracle Ginny was still friends with him after everything.

“Aww… poor girl-Weasley unsatisfied then?” Draco laughed. He laughed harder when Harry flushed an angry red. “Oh stop, I’m only teasing. We’re eighteen years old. Bad sex is the norm for boys too quick off the mark to make it good for anyone.” He bumped shoulders with Harry. “It’s probably not as bad as you think.”

Harry shook his head. “Ginny assured me it was just as bad as I thought.” He focused on his books, hoping his voice sounded calm as he asked, “What about you? Any disappointed girls you’ve left behind?”

“Not really. Mum likes to go on about how I’m a late bloomer and I’ll find someone when the time is right.”

Harry exhaled heavily, not realising he’d even been holding his breath waiting for a response. “Hm. Are you worried about what they’ll say when they find out about ‘us’ from the papers? I didn’t really think about that until - “ He subtly indicated the watching eyes that were slowly losing interest in the proceedings. Hopefully soon the fresh snow, the first of the term, would draw them outside.

“I think they’ll just be happy I’ve finally ‘bloomed.’”

Harry nodded and rustled his notes for his essay. “Thought you’d be the type that needed a pureblood wife for a dozen pureblood children.” Was he blushing? Fuck, yes he was. When was that going to stop happening? 

Draco shrugged, “Only if I want to. Obviously that’s their preference but they know I can afford to hire a surrogate. Or adopt. Since… everything… they just want me to be happy.”

“That’s nice.” Harry didn’t know where to go from there so he focused on putting his notes into some kind of order for an essay. But he was distracted by the owl journal. Pulling a fresh roll of parchment from his bag, he began a simple outline of a story. When it was more-or-less complete, he passed it to Draco. “What do you think?”

“Two friends faking a relationship?” Draco asked, his smile making Harry’s heart jump. He leaned into Harry, whispering in his ear, “Wherever did you get an idea like that? Art imitating life?”

Harry laughed and brushed a kiss against Draco’s cheek. He ducked his head shyly and shrugged. Draco reached for his hand and kissed Harry’s fingers before resting their joined hands on the table. Biting back a smile, Harry resumed writing. Draco read through his book for a while, until he needed his hand back to write. But he hooked his foot around Harry’s ankle and didn’t object when Harry’s free hand rested on his thigh.

Every so often they smiled at each other, but mostly they worked quietly on homework. Slowly the other students trickled away until it was just the two of them in their corner of the library, just the way Harry liked it.

And best of all, when it was time to leave, they walked out hand-in-hand.

\--------  
...and on the Quidditch pitch…  
\--------

“What was that look Hermione gave us?” Draco asked as they left the castle, hand-in-hand as usual.

“What look?”

“The weird one. As we left the common room.”

Harry jiggled the broom in his other hand, resettling it on his shoulder. “Oh, yeah… erm… I think she thinks ‘flying’ is a euphemism. For sex.”

“Ugh, really? But we have a broom and everything!”

“Doesn’t matter. We had an argument a few days ago. She said she was worried about me because I guess there’s not enough PDA? With you. So she was suspicious or whatever. But I told her it was none of her business what we got up to in private and that neither of us liked that kind of public display and she should keep her nose out of it.”

“So she thinks this is a secret, private rendezvous we’ve arranged out of sight?”

Harry shrugged sheepishly, “Yeah.”

Draco shook his head in disgust, “Our friends suck.”

“Indeed.”

“Maybe we should…” He bit his lip and looked over at Harry, then back at the path, “I mean, I don’t want to start snogging in the common room or anything - “

“Me neither,” Harry said to reassure him. The last thing he wanted was to pressure Draco for something like that. Especially since Harry didn't want that kind of thing at all.

“ - but maybe we could snuggle in our dorm or something?”

Harry swallowed around his heart in his throat. He kept his eyes on the path, scared of what he might reveal. “You want to - “ he laughed nervously. “Like in one of our beds?”

“Yes… just… sit together, or you know, we could read together. In bed. Like a couple-y kind of thing. Let Terry and Ernie catch a glimpse and they’ll spread the word, right?”

And Harry, poor touch-starved Harry, _wanted_ more desperately than he thought possible. “Yeah, brilliant idea,” he said, cursing the way his voice broke mid-word. He did his best to breathe normally but his heart clamored in his chest at the thought of snuggling up against Draco. Of resting his head on Draco’s shoulder while Draco read aloud to him. Of curling up to sleep with a warm body instead of a stupid warming charm on his sheets. Of waking in the morning to sleepy grey eyes and a soft smile.

He swung their joined hands and didn’t bother trying to keep the goofy smile off his face as they entered the Quidditch pitch.

“I’m not sure about this,” Draco said hesitantly, looking at the broom Harry was preparing to mount. 

“Come on, you said you’d at least try. We’ll just ride to the other end of the pitch, okay? Just high enough your feet don’t drag.”

They both looked to the other end of the pitch and Harry knew that to Draco it looked miles away. “It’s not far and we’ll be together. Like we were then, but you know, no fire.”

Draco nodded jerkily and approached Harry and the broom. Before Harry could offer to help him on, Draco grabbed him in a hard hug. “Hey,” Harry said softly, “it’s going to be all right. You’ll see. I’ll keep you safe, you know.” He rubbed down Draco’s back when Draco nodded into his neck. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I do!” Draco sniffed. “I do want this. I miss it so much and I hate being afraid.”

“It’s okay to be afraid. You almost died the last time you were on a broom.”

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to - “ He gulped heavily and scrubbed at his face. “I want this. I do. Just give me a minute.” He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. Leaning heavily on Harry, Draco awkwardly swung his leg over the broom. He rested his head between Harry’s shoulder blades and wrapped tight arms around his waist. “I’m not sure,” he mumbled, “if it’s better to look or not look.”

“Start with not looking and then change your mind if you don’t like it. Ready?” Harry felt the nod on his back and the arms tightening even more around his waist. “Okay here we go.” Thankfully his new Firebolt Extreme had a smooth start. Moving slow enough to barely stir a breeze, they started across the pitch. Halfway through, Draco lifted his head to look around. First, down to the snow-covered ground, then up at the stands, and finally the goalposts they were aiming for. Unconsciously he leaned forward, pushing Harry along with him, and the broom sped up a little.

They came to a gentle stop and Draco hopped off with a whoop. “I did it! I flew across the pitch!”

Harry laughed and welcomed another hug from Draco, this one with laughter and cheers. “I told you it would be fine! Brilliant, right? Want to fly back?”

“Fuck no! That was enough for now.” They both laughed and Draco hugged Harry again. His body trembled in Harry’s arms and he wasn’t sure if it was the cold or nerves. When Draco pulled back, his grey eyes sparkled with excitement, sending that warm fluttery feeling down Harry’s spine. The kiss he pressed to Harry’s lips only intensified the feeling.

“What was that for?” Harry asked before he could stop himself. They didn’t usually kiss where no one could see them.

“I’m just so happy,” Draco said, his cheeks flushing deeper than the cold could account for. “I’m happy and you’re here to share in it.” He nuzzled their noses together in a quick bunny kiss before kissing Harry’s lips again. He rested their foreheads together. “Thank you,” Draco said softly, “for dragging me out here.”

Harry’s hands squeezed Draco’s waist. “Draco…” he breathed into Draco’s neck, “you’re welcome.” If the moment lasted forever, Harry knew it wouldn’t be enough. The press of Draco’s body against his was a heady experience, but one Harry knew he couldn’t carry much further. Reluctantly, he pulled away before more of his heart was torn away. “Let me… my bag…” 

Ignoring Draco’s concerned look, Harry flicked his wand at the other end of the pitch and his backpack zoomed across the pitch to them. “I came prepared,” Harry said. Draco tilted his head quizzically until Harry pulled a heavy blanket out of the bag. “Sit with me?”

Draco looked behind him, down the pitch. “Oh, I thought you’d want to head back.”

“We didn’t come all this way for a single five minute fly! I thought we’d rest a bit, between rounds.” Harry spread the blanket with the charmed water-repellent side down against the snow.

“Yes. I think - yeah, that’s great.”

As they made themselves comfortable, Harry tried to leave space between them, but Draco muttered it was too cold to sit across from one another. And before he knew it, Harry was cradled between Draco’s legs, his back to Draco’s front. Draco rested against one of the supports for the stands with his arms wrapped around Harry.

And again Harry’s mouth spoke without his brain’s permission, “Is this how friends in a fake relationship usually sit?”

“Absolutely. You should put that in our story.” Draco spelled the blanket wider and folded the edge over their legs so they were wrapped up tight. “Because honestly, this feels perfect.”

“Yeah,” Harry admitted, resting his head back on Draco’s shoulder, “it kind of does.”

After a moment of silence, Draco whispered, “I flew. On a broom. Earlier.” He hugged Harry tight with his entire body.

Harry chuckled and squeezed Draco’s hands. “I heard you were pretty good, too.”

“I was. Brilliant. Handled it like a pro.” He pressed his cheek to Harry’s head and sighed. “I thought I’d never fly again. But it wasn’t so bad.”

“The cold probably helps.”

“Sometimes… “ Draco paused and rubbed his cheek in Harry’s hair. Softly he said, “Sometimes I dream that pile of junk went down like a landslide and the fire consumes me.”

“Sometimes I dream your hand is too slippery to grip and I can’t pull you up.”

They both fell silent, lost in memories. Harry pulled his thoughts away from the Fiendfyre and instead focused on the body wrapped around his. Their little cocoon and Draco’s warmth were a perfect contrast to the cold winter air around them. He was feeling a little giddy, thinking of Draco’s suggestion they share a bed occasionally. Even if it was just to keep gossip going in the right direction, Harry was excited at the prospect.

Especially if nightmares were still plaguing Draco. Harry wanted to be there for him, to comfort and be comforted at the same time. He smiled, thinking of their legs entwined or Draco spooning him, much like right now. Did he hog the blankets? Was he restless or calm?

Did he sometimes wake up hard? Would he expect Harry to wake up that way, wanting sex? A heavy band squeezed Harry’s lungs and he only barely registered his body tightening with tension. Because Harry did wake up hard occasionally, but it was more of a biological response than a desire for sex and what would Draco think of that? Those kinds of mixed signals could drive a man spare. 

“Harry?” Draco asked slowly, rubbing Harry’s arms in a soothing gesture that only made Harry more tense. “Are you all right? Are you - is this making you uncomfortable?”

He wanted so badly to say no, that he loved resting in Draco’s arms, but now his thoughts were too chaotic and he had to get away. “It’s fine,” he said, untangling them from the blanket. He avoided Draco’s eyes as he got to his feet. “It’s fine but it’s getting late. Do you want to try flying back across?” He busied himself spelling the bottom of the blanket dry, folding it, and stuffing it in his bag. 

“Yes,” Draco said, shaking his hands and stretching his neck before bending to pick up the broom instead of calling it up. “Do you want to lead again?”

“Why don’t you try?” Harry asked. He threw his backpack on and stuffed his hands in his pockets, waiting for Draco to mount first. He tried to meet Draco’s eyes so he would know Harry wasn’t angry, but he could only manage somewhere over his shoulder.

“Harry, are you sure you’re all right? I’m sorry if you didn’t want to - “ Draco gestured to the ground where they’d been sitting, “I just - it helps me feel grounded and after the flight, short as it was I - “

“I told you it was fine.”

“It doesn’t feel fine. I’m sorry if I crossed a line.” He looked so carefully at Harry but Harry still couldn’t meet his eyes. Draco fiddled with the broom, smoothing the tail lightly.

Draco’s concern made Harry even more frustrated. He shoved his hands into his hair and huffed a sigh. How to explain the things he felt? “No, you didn’t. Cross a line, I mean. I liked it. _Like_ it. The - “ Harry cleared his throat awkwardly, “the cuddling. But sometimes my mind drifts… always thinking of the next story, you know? My imagination has always run wild spinning what ifs. Hermione says it’s a coping mechanism from my cupboard days.”

“Cupboard days?”

“Fuck.” Harry ruffled his hair again and finally met Draco’s eye. “Yeah, we’ll talk about it another time. Just… I can’t shut it off and sometimes it messes with me.” His eyes dropped to the ground again. “I just have a really hard time with - you know - intimate things. And if you’re expecting… like in the story…” His stomach twisted painfully, but Harry gritted out, “This isn’t going to turn into more, Draco.”

Draco nodded thoughtfully. “That’s all right. I’m not looking for more either. And if you’re not a touchy kind of person, that’s all right too. I can keep my distance.”

Fucking _fuck_ Harry growled to himself. That wasn’t what he wanted either. He needed those little moments, craved them like nothing else - Draco’s hand on his back, or holding his hand, the random hugs and occasional peck on the cheek or lips. But what could he say now? Damn it, did that mean he wouldn’t be allowed in Draco’s bed?

Harry kicked at the ground as he nodded along, despite his heart screaming at him to say it again and say it right. He swallowed heavily and pointed at the broom, “Why don’t you take lead this time?”

Draco stared at the broom for a long minute before finally mounting. Harry climbed on behind him and held lightly to his waist. Flying a little higher than last time, they made it to the other end of the pitch without incident. Draco led them on a turning loop before coming to a stop.

He let out a piercing whoop as he climbed off, his smile wide and free. Harry returned the smile, his tension melting away in the face of Draco’s joy. Without hesitation, he opened his arms wide for a hug. Draco laughed and buried his face in Harry’s neck with such enthusiasm, they both stumbled a little.

“I flew, Harry!” He looked into Harry’s eyes and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Harry answered by cradling Draco’s cheeks and pressing their lips together. While Draco hugged him tighter, Harry peppered his face with kisses. “I’m so proud of you!”

“I’m proud of me too. I can’t believe it!” He laughed again and stepped back. “Sorry if - “

“Don’t apologize,” Harry said, taking Draco by the hand. “And don’t be afraid to reach out for me. I’m happy for you, for us.” He kissed Draco’s cheek again, grinning. 

“That’s all I can handle. I want to go in now.” Draco curled into Harry, his body still trembling a little.

“You did great,” Harry whispered. He kissed Draco on the cheek and tugged him to castle path. “Now let’s go get hot chocolate and biscuits to celebrate!”

\--------  
...and in their lessons.  
\--------

Seconds before Flitwick stood to begin class, Draco and Blaise blew in like a whirlwind. After a quick cheek-kiss hello, Draco dug his books out of his bag.

He set the owl journal on Harry’s side of the table and whispered, “I finished the seekers sketches. And I had an idea for the soulmarks.” He winked at Harry and turned his attention to Flitwick.

Harry flipped to the story of two rival seekers in the locker rooms post-game, assuming Draco would take notes for the both of them. The drawings were enticing, with just enough clothes off to be interesting, but not so much it made Harry uncomfortable. He frowned at one image that seemed… Was Harry the model for that one?

Stuffing the book in his own bag, Harry took up a quill and pretended to be listening while his mind reeled. Did Draco want that image? With him? Was this the beginning of the end? Maybe it was time to go ahead and stage the break-up before Draco got in any deeper. They could still be friends, still work on their collaborative stories, but without the added pressures of gossip and speculation from their friends for more and more. 

His thoughts scattered as Draco rose, along with half the class, to move to the front of the room. He sorted through a few shoe boxes of small canvases, roughly the size of postcards, until he found three or four that met some criteria Harry wasn’t aware of.

“For the practicals. Were you listening at all?” Draco said with a smile. He passed Harry his notes. “We’re charming paintings to move. Here’s two different landscapes for practice, then two animals for when we’re ready for more complicated things.”

“Oh right. I’ll start with these waves. You take the - is that wheat?”

“Like I know what a crop of wheat looks like. There are about a hundred grains it could be. Maybe it’s just grass. Doesn’t matter. I’ll start with this and then we’ll switch.”

Harry glanced over Draco’s notes and then examined his small ocean painting. “Can you charm your sketches with this?”

“Hm, maybe. Needs a special kind of ink I’ve not used before.” He smiled wickedly and waggled his eyebrows, “Looking for something in particular?”

“No,” Harry said with a return grin, “just curious, I suppose.” Draco hummed noncommittally and waved his wand over his grasslands painting. Harry’s smile faded as he looked at his ocean, thinking of the past nights in Draco’s bed, when the occasional humming in his sleep kept Harry awake. It was the sort of thing that drove him crazy in the night, but he found utterly charming during the day. Perhaps Draco wasn’t the only one in too deep. This scenario was becoming dangerous.

Harry shook off the negative thoughts. He bumped Draco’s hip with his own and asked, “What was your soulmark idea?”

“Oh! What do you think of it moving around, like a compass? So maybe it appears when you’re ready for your soulmate or when you come of age or you’re both of age. I don’t know. But it sort of points the way. So if it’s on your right hand, you go in that direction but as you turn toward it, it shifts to your belly because now you’re facing the right way.”

“So if they, like, Apparated across the country, your mark would shoot from your left shoulder to your right hip, or something?”

“Exactly! The visuals would be interesting. Maybe a series with one person and the mark keeps moving all over their body. What do you think?”

“Yeah,” Harry said slowly as he thought it over. “I think we can make that work. Maybe two people that keep missing each other because one wants to find but the other doesn’t want to be found. I’ll think on it, you draw something to spark an idea.”

“Here, switch with me.” Draco ended the spells on the practice pieces and switched their paintings. “I was thinking, if you’re interested, you’d like to model for them?” 

“What?” Harry screeched. “No! I’m not doing that!” Fucking _fuck_! He knew this was going badly. 

Draco’s eyes widened at the vehemence in Harry’s voice and looked around to see if anyone was staring. Of course they were, Harry thought with a glare. “Easy,” Draco said softly, “you could have just said no thank you.” He flicked his wand at the ocean but nothing happened. He sighed heavily and tried again. This time the waves rippled in slow motion. 

The wheat field blurred under Harry’s stare. Draco moved closer to rest his fingers along Harry’s wrists but Harry backed away with a shake of his head. His skin crawled with fear and distaste. Fuck if he was stripping down for Draco to sketch. 

“We can’t do this anymore,” Harry murmured. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud but Draco heard him and tilted his head in confusion.

“Our stories? Why not? I thought you were having fun with it.” 

Harry’s stomach twisted. Had he really missed the point so completely? “Not that, us. This - “ Harry’s voice dropped so only Draco could hear him, “this fake relationship. We’re getting in too deep.”

Draco’s brows drew down as he cast a mild privacy charm to keep the other students eavesdropping. The sudden silence from their corner drew several eyes but Flitwick directed them back to their work. Draco smiled at Flitwick and cast the charm over his ocean picture. “You cannot possibly be serious. You’d give us up just because I said I wanted to draw you?”

“There is no _us_!” Harry said, gobsmacked by the conviction in Draco’s voice. How had Harry missed how attached Draco had got? “I knew this would happen,” he said with a sigh. “I shouldn’t have started this mess.”

“A mess. That’s what you think we are?”

“Well we are! Tell me you can tell what’s real and what’s fake anymore!”

Grey eyes widened in disbelief and Draco shook his head, “It’s - fuck, Harry - it’s real! All of it! Can’t you tell that?”

“I told you, when this first started, this wasn’t going to be anything! I’m just not - I’m not ready for something like that. I just want to focus on school and - and save relationships for later.”

Draco crossed his arms, his impassive mask firmly in place. “And what if there is no later?”

“What.”

“What if this is it, Harry? What if this is as good as you get and all you’ll ever want?”

“That’s not - no, I just…” Harry shook his head hard, tugging at his hair. That couldn’t be true. One day he would be different and he would want the things everyone else wanted. 

Draco reached for his hand again and Harry let their fingers just touch. “Harry,” Draco said quietly.

“No!” Harry shook off Draco’s hand. “You’re wrong. Because I _will_ want those things,” he said, pointing at his bag where their owl journal was tucked safely away. “I want - I want to fuck like mad in the showers and snog under the night sky and get sucked off in some wild dance club. Just like everyone else!” 

Except he didn’t. At all. Picturing himself in place of the characters Draco had drawn sent his stomach roiling. He shivered, imagining fingers in his arse and a mouth on his cock. No, Draco was right and there was no fucking way.

“Fuck!” Harry hissed under his breath before grabbing his bag and escaping the classroom before anyone could stop him.

\--------  
And then there was a real beginning on the train.  
\--------

Harry was a coward. A clever coward, as if that made a difference. It was rather tricky to avoid a person that shared one’s sleeping space but Harry managed it for the two days until the Christmas Holidays started. 

But there was no avoiding Draco on the train back to London. Especially if he was going to ‘hide’ in the compartment they’d shared back in September. Nostalgia was a bitch.

“Are you going to talk to me now, or can I expect you to make a run for it again?” Draco asked as he sat across from Harry.

Harry shrugged, “I guess we’ll talk. You’ll just follow me if I go to another compartment.”

“Damn straight. Well, maybe not _straight_ ,” Draco said with a grin.

Harry couldn’t help the return grin, accompanied by an eye roll. He plucked nervously at his sleeve, and said, “I’m sorry. For the way I’ve been acting.”

“For yelling at me? Avoiding me?”

“Yeah… that…”

“What about trying to break up with me?”

Harry sighed at the ceiling, “Draco…”

“What? You think I’m not sincere? That I don’t really want to keep you?”

“It’s not you, it’s…” Harry ran his hands through his hair and tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. “I just can’t do those things that - that everyone expects. And I have to…” his breath hitched, “I have to believe I’ll be different. That I’ll have something to offer someone one day.”

“You have plenty to offer, Harry! And for the right person, what you have to offer now is exactly right.” Draco moved to sit beside Harry and took his hands. He bumped their heads together with a soft smile. “Did you consider that what you have to offer is what I want? And that what you want is all I have to offer? That perhaps things can continue as they are and that’s enough for us?”

“You’ll want more,” Harry said, his voice thick with emotion. “Everyone always wants more.” Draco shook his head but Harry kept talking, “And it’s going to shatter me when you leave for someone that can give you those things.”

“Harry… you’re amazing and I love you but you really are such an idiot sometimes. Have I indicated even once that I want more than we have?”

“Yes! You said you wanted to draw me! Trying to get me naked is pretty suspicious, you know.”

Draco snorted, “Who said anything about naked?”

“It was implied! Drawing a moving soulmark all over a body implies that body is naked so you can see it!”

“I guess? But you can wear your clothes. Theo does when I draw him. Blaise, the exhibitionist wanker, strips naked and has said repeatedly he wouldn’t mind if I wanted to pair him with someone else. Whatever you want is fine… I just wanted the excuse to really see you. To stare as long as I wanted.”

Harry curled into himself with a small smile. “I was an idiot, wasn’t I?”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to contradict you so…” Draco laughed and nudged Harry’s thigh with his own. “Stay with me, Harry. Let’s be the kind of couple that buys matching pyjamas and stays up late reading together in bed. We can hold hands and share bunny kisses,” he shifted closer and took Harry’s hand. “And we can leave the rest of it behind. We don’t need to have sex just because everyone else is.”

"You're telling me you, an eighteen year old boy, are just going to give up sex?”

"You're an eighteen year old boy giving up sex. So what? We don't need to have sex to prove we love each other, right?”

“You think you love me?”

“I _know_ I love you. Do you love me?”

That was the linchpin, wasn’t it? Did Harry trust Draco enough to let himself love? Harry swallowed and stared down at their joined hands. He thought of their relationship thus far and the fear that had held him in check for too long. Could he let that go and really trust Draco to stay with him? He rested his head on Draco’s shoulder. Softly he said, “It’s going to take me time. To unlearn things and relearn others.”

“I’ll be there with you. We’ll learn them together.”

There were so many months left of school and then what? Would they get a flat together? Live in Grimmauld Place? They could perhaps fix it up together. Travel the world for literary inspiration and bring back eclectic treasures to decorate their home. Create an open, airy space for Draco to work on his art. Write books together and adopt a kneazle or three. Build a life together.

“Yeah, okay.” Harry rubbed their cheeks together and leaned into Draco’s hug. “It won’t take me long to fall for you. Really fall for you. I’ve missed you so much these last few days. And - and nights.”

“Oh Harry,” Draco sighed happily, “I’m going to cuddle you so hard all night long.”

“Promise?” 

“Mm, for always.”

\--------  
And they lived happily ever after.  
\--------

Harry was just pulling the cake from the oven when the floo chimed. “Go get that, Nev. It’s the repairman.” 

“What’d you need repaired?” he asked as he left the kitchen, not waiting for a response.

Harry threw the chocolate chips all over the hot cake to melt and then went to find the furniture repairman. He led the man, followed by a curious Neville, up to his and Draco’s bedroom.

“Here’s the crack,” Harry said, pointing to a large split in the base of the bed frame. “My boyfriend didn’t want me fixing it because it’s a family heirloom and he insisted it be seen to by a professional.”

“Hm,” the man said thoughtfully, examining the crack carefully. “Seems simple enough. Shouldn’t take more than half an hour or so.”

“Excellent! I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done.”

The man nodded and pulled his wand from a toolbox. Harry and Neville headed back to the kitchen.

“So,” Neville said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Broke your bed, eh?”

“It’s not like that!” Harry said with a blush. He smeared the now melted chocolate all over the cake to avoid having to look at Neville.

“Don’t be embarrassed. Hannah and I did the same.”

\--

“You can’t open your presents early!” Draco yelled, running up the stairs. “Your birthday isn’t for four days! You can open it then!”

“You are an absolute fucking killjoy!” Harry yelled back as he tackled Draco to the floor of the hallway, giggling like a maniac. “I am a grown man and can do anything I want for my birthday!” He wrestled the small shiny green package from Draco’s grasp and made a run for it.

“You are spoiling the suspense! Waiting is part of the fun, Harry!” Draco followed him into their bedroom. His eyes gleamed with the challenge of winning the present back.

“Fuck waiting,” Harry jumped up on the bed, holding the present out of reach. “I want my presents!”

“And I want you to wait!” Draco jumped up after him. Three seconds of mock scrabbling for the present turned into bed-as-trampoline. “We’re not supposed to jump on the bed,” Draco laughed.

“Even if I never had a bed to jump in before?”

“Your childhood was shit. I bet I can jump higher!”

They came down in unison, to the sound of a loud crack.

“Oh shit, Mum is going to kill me!”

“No, it's going to be fine. I can fix it.”

“Fuck you can! You’ll call a professional! And give me that!” Draco yanked the present out of Harry’s slackened hand. “You can have this in four days.”

\--------

“Harry! Can you please attempt to pay attention?” Hermione asked, hands on hips. “These invitations aren’t going to address themselves!”

“Sorry! I’m sorry!” Harry said, exasperated. He rubbed his face and moved the piles of invitations and envelopes aside so he could lay his head down on his dining room table. “Draco kept me up all night!” he whined just as Draco joined them with fresh quills.

“Woah, mate!” Ron said, covering his ears. “I do _not_ want to hear about that at all!”

“Not like that!” Harry protested. His eyes drifted shut on a soft groan.

Draco kissed the top of Harry’s head and sat next to Hermione. “Excuse you, but you’re the one that insisted on the fourth round.”

Ron shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “Stop! Just stop right now or I swear I will walk right out and you’ll be finishing your own damn wedding invitations!” 

\--

“Yes. Yes! _Yes_!” Draco yelled, jumping off the couch and tossing the Wii controller to the coffee table. “Suck my banana peels, Potter! You can’t beat me!” He raised his hands triumphantly and spun a wild twirl. “I am the Mario Kart master and you will always be second best!”

“Damn it! I almost had it that time. Let’s go again. One more time. Please?”

“We should get to bed. We’ll play again tomorrow.”

“Please…” Harry begged, tugging Draco back down. He swung his legs up into Draco’s lap and summoned the Wii controller for him. “One more round.”

“Fine, but then it’s straight to bed. You’re going to be dead on your feet tomorrow.”

\--------

Harry searched the room for Draco, but the blond remained elusive as ever. He resisted the urge to pull out his watch to check the time again. How much longer did they have to stay at this stupid party?

All right, maybe it wasn’t so stupid. Everyone they knew was here and there was plenty of alcohol, food, dancing, and smiling faces. But still… Harry was ready to go.

Ah! There, making his way to Harry at long last. Harry’s cheeks ached, but he couldn’t stop the wide smile he’d sported all day.

“Oh Harry, you look so happy,” Hermione said, hugging him for the millionth time. “I hope Ron and I are as happy on our wedding day.”

Susan wiped at her eyes, “It’s so romantic! You two are so sweet!”

“Thanks,” Harry said absently, eyes trained on Draco. 

“Hello, Husband,” Draco said with a smile to match Harry’s. He whispered for Harry alone, “I have a surprise for you.”

Harry turned his grin on Hermione and Susan. “You’ll have to excuse us.”

The two women giggled together. Susan smacked his arm playfully, “Oh you two! Go have your fun. We’ll do our best to throw off suspicion.”

“It’s not like that,” Harry said, but they probably didn’t hear him because Draco was already pulling him away. 

“In here,” Draco said softly, opening a door to a storage cupboard with a furtive glance around. He grinned at Ernie, who raised his glass with a wink.

“What are we doing in a cupboard when we’ve paid for a very nice, very expensive room upstairs?”

“People will talk if we head up to our room.” He lit his wand with a soft _lumos_ and set it on a shelf by their heads.

“What, exactly, do you think they’re doing right now when you’ve dragged me here on our wedding day?”

“My sweet, silly husband… don’t you realize yet I don’t give two fucks what they think? Look what I got us.” From his robe pocket, Draco produced a napkin bundle. “The last four. Two for you, two for me.”

Harry’s mouth flooded. “Oh fuck, are those the tarts from Glaze Maze?”

“Oh my fucking god these are so amazing!” Draco said around a mouthful. He licked out at the cherry glaze on his lips. 

“This is why I love you. We should have got a tray just for us to share in our room.”

“Make note for next time.”

\--------

“Draco look! You missed a present!” Teddy’s loud exclamation drew all eyes to the slender wrapped package in his hands. “Feels like a book!”

“Wonderful! I love books!” Draco said, reaching out for it.

Harry shoved Andromeda into Narcissa as he hurried across the room. “Oh Teddy, wait. That’s for later. That wasn’t meant to come down with the other presents.” He nearly stepped on Sashinka’s tail, sending her scurrying with an indignant meow. But Harry saw she curled up with Pebbles, and knew he would comfort her.

“A book? What kind of book?” Hermione asked. Harry shot her a glare that melted into an awkward smile when he noticed everyone looking at him funnily. 

“It’s just something, you know, private. For later.” Harry bit his lip and plucked the book from Draco’s hands. He banished it to their bedroom, where no one was likely to wander. “Later,” he said quietly, with a wink.

“Ooh, Harry, you naughty boy!” Blaise laughed, waggling his eyebrows. “Let me know if you need other suggestions. I’ve got quite a collection of those sorts of books.”

“It’s not like that!”

“Sure it’s not,” Blaise said, a condescending smirk on his face. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly innocent reason why you can’t open it in front of our family and friends. It’s fine!”

The laughter escalated as Harry’s blush deepened. 

“Oh leave off, before Harry kicks you all out before you get your birthday cake!” Draco smiled fondly at Harry, then kissed him on the cheek. “Where is it? The Birthday Boy wants his cake!”

\--

“So where’s my special present?” Draco asked as soon as the last guest disappeared in a whoosh of floo powder.

“Where’s the patience you’re always telling me I need more of?”

Draco scoffed, “Please, it’s my _birthday_! I’ve been as patient as I need to be. Go get it!”

Harry led them to their room and sat with Draco on the bed. “I - I hope you like it.” 

Draco tore off the wrappings to reveal a rather plain book with a rolling script that said, _Find Me, and other erotic stories_. He looked quizzically at Harry. “A book of short stories? Sexy fairy tales?”

“No, it’s - “ Harry reached over to open the cover. “It’s ours. The stories we wrote.”

“What?” Draco frowned in confusion at the book, then rifled through the pages. His eyes widened at the familiar images surrounded by print text, rather than inked handwriting. “You had our book printed?”

“Er… yeah…” Harry ruffled his hair nervously. “What do you think?”

“Harry, this is incredible! When did you do this?”

“Well I was putting the jobberknoll journal with the others and I started flipping through them, thinking it’s a shame we kept them to ourselves. I mean, some of them are really good, you know? So I picked a few I really liked and submitted a manuscript. Anonymously, of course.”

“And they accepted it? Just like that?” Draco went back to the table of contents to read through, although Harry had changed some of the titles so he might not recognize their work.

“Well it was a little more complicated than that. But yeah. They hit bookstores in three days. This is an advance copy. For us. I wanted you to see it first.”

Draco laughed and hugged Harry, “This is amazing! I can’t believe it!”

“Jemma, the editor at Obscurus Books, said if it sells well enough, they’ll print a second volume of some of the others. Make it a series.”

Draco shook his head, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I can’t believe it! Harry! I don’t know what to say!”

“How about we put on our pyjamas and have a late-night read?”

“That sounds perfect.”

\--------  
The end.  
\--------


End file.
